


If there were cats on the moon would that be fucked up or what?

by neomints



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Also they're both autistic but it's not like a huge thing its just facts, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Kozume Kenma, Other, Trans Male Character, Trans Tsukishima Kei, You could lowkey imagine theyre all in a big 4 way poly if u rly want to tbh, mentioned Kuroo and Hinata, otherwise this is just fluffy n silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 12:09:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20446934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neomints/pseuds/neomints
Summary: "If there were stray cats on the moon would the astronauts bring them back or would they stay up there?"A thoughtful hum, "well, I guess the real answer has to be; what the fuck Kozume?"---Kenma and Tsukki have a conversation about cats and moons.





	If there were cats on the moon would that be fucked up or what?

"Kei,"

A shuffle, the sound of fabric moving and the clatter of headphones being removed.

"Yeah?"

"If there were stray cats on the moon would the astronauts bring them back or would they stay up there?"

A thoughtful hum, "well, I guess the real answer has to be; what the fuck Kozume?"

A huff on the edge of a laugh, a confused smirk on Kei's face. 

"I was just talking to Shouyou about it, and I wanted to get your opinion, you uptight dick."

"Why was that my go-to guess for what the fuck was going on?"

Another huff, the sound of quick successive tapping on a screen and tinny electronic music from an unworn headphone.

"Your first guess is always Kuro, you lying bastard," the sharp words are mumbled with a soft fondness, laced with a smile.

Another thoughtful hum, "and your proof that I was thinking that this time?"

The response is easy, practiced, "There isn't enough evidence for it to be conclusive. However it's easy enough to extrapolate it from data on your previous behavior; _professor_"

A laugh, genuine with years of practice. Years of coaxing on both sides.

"Fuck off asshole..." 

The sound of fabric shuffling, the feeling of skin against warm damaged hair, arms around a waist chubby with a love for apple pie and a lack of enthusiasm towards morning runs.

A kiss on the head.

A moment of silence, though only in conversation. The sound of breathing; the ghost of distant music through two pairs of headphones, one handed down from a friend, the other saved up for for months; and the incessant rhythmic tap of skin against glass.

"So, are you going to answer the question?"

"What about the cats in space?"

"No about the cats in Florida."

Another laugh, "there's no cats in Florida."

"There's nothing in Florida period, but that's not the point..."

"Okay fine. I guess... it'd make more sense for the cats to stay up there."

A nod, and another hum, "Reasoning..?"

"Well there's obviously the issue with gravity and bringing them to an environment where oxygen is present, since as we all know oxygen is the most toxic substance on the planet-"

A huff on the edge of a laugh, "actually I think Shouyou's rendition of strawberry cheesecake is."

Kei grimaces, and Kenma feels it through their hair.

"We do _not_ talk about that."

"I'm right, though..."

"You are."

"What about non-biological or evolutionary reasoning?"

A sigh, it's exasperated, warm and familiar.

"Why are you so adamant about this?"

Silence, a smile.

"Ugh, fine. Well it's their home there right? They'd probably just... be more comfortable there honestly. It doesn't feel right to move them out of their natural habitat. Hypothetically speaking."

A few more final taps of fingertips against a screen. A click, the sound of metal hitting the surface of a bed.

Kenma reclines backwards onto Kei's soft chest and he obliges, falling back onto the mountain of pillows the two had placed behind them.

Silence. Warmth. A smile.

"So in conclusion, you think that cats belong on the moon."

"No, I think that hypothetical stray cats which originated on a hypothetical moon where they can survive deserve to not be removed from their natural habitat, _Kenma_."

The name brings a smile to Kenma's face. Kei only ever uses it strategically; times it perfectly to be as effective as possible. 

It's endearing as hell.

Kenma turns over lazily, basking in the afternoon sun and laying down flush on Kei. He isn't wearing his binder, but years of experience have taught Kenma when they were allowed to be this close, and when they were not; today was a good day for Kei, and he let the proximity go without the usual grouch.

"But that's still a cat, and it's still on a moon. So you think cats should be on moons."

Another grimace. Kenma takes it in with a lazy smile, gently kisses the wrinkles on the bridge of Kei's nose where his glasses used to be.

"Okay lets say I do, what of it?"

The shuffling of fabric. Warm arms worming their way around a wide lean waist. 

Kenma rests their head against Kei's heartbeat and breathes in the smells and sounds of his being.

Quiet, melancholy, lonely but not alone, crystal clear and bright glowing blue today, but yellow or white on others.

His being was an understatement, but never overshadowed by anything else for long.

Kenma kisses the lines of Kei's neck; precise, practiced, affectionate.

In return Kei laces his fingers, long and bruised and calloused with repetition and the smug joy of winning, through warm hair, black roots showing through blond bleached strands, the pink at the edges betraying a dye job of months past.

They lay there together; taking turns to kiss one another, playfully touching arms and necks and the broad, soft and slightly dry skin of waists and backs, they ghost their fingers through each others hair and melt into the contact. 

Gold meets gold and the predatory glare they'd both extended one another years ago is long gone. All that's left is the memory leaving tracks full of playful teasing and thoughtful stares. 

An offer is extended- silently but certainly- and is taken at once. Lips glide against one another in a half-step dance, too comfortable for more than what they could manage at the moment and thankful for the fact that they both felt no need to take it further in the heat of the lazy summer afternoon.

A sigh. Kisses planted between little knuckles and long fingers twined between even longer ones. Joy shining through the simplicity of the act.

Eventually Kenma rests their head against Kei's collarbone and leave a few kisses there for good measure. 

They lay there, the feeling as natural as breathing or perfecting snow halation on expert for the hundredth time, and close their eyes.

A thoughtful hum.

"If this was your idea of a diversion I'm disappointed you thought it'd work."

A huff on the edge of a laugh.

No further response is given. Kei is perceptive after all - and watching him think and fluster and laugh is entertaining.

He won't let this slide of course, Kenma would never expect him to, but for the moment they're content to just enjoy the familiar warmth and take a nap.

After all, he'd said it himself; cats do belong on the moon.


End file.
